Roses
by Pongo0614
Summary: Merlin and Morgana were lovers, they knew how thin the line was between love and hate. Morgan has always been fascinated by the Arthurian legend, but when two roses bring back memories, she has to find him. The one she loves. Reincarnation, Modern, slight AU. Song is Iris by Goo Goo Dolls. I own nothing. I edited the photo.
1. Chapter 1

_Another story for you guys_

_I wanted to get these two stories out about the same time._

_Don't know why, just wanted to. At this moment in time I don't know how well this will work but I will try and make it._

_The song all the way through is Iris by Goo Goo was originally going to be Clarity by Zedd but I ran out of lyrics._

_Hopefully these chapters will be longer than those in Forromah's Poison but they aren't going to be any better._

* * *

**_And I'd give up forever to touch you  
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow_**

**Chapter 1**

Morgan was so happy. Finally they had got enough people to go on a school trip that she had been trying to organize for years.

Morgan Fay is a 26 year old black haired beauty. She has always been fascinated by the Arthurian legend, even wanted to go and study Anglo-Saxon and Celtic studies at University. Yet her father wouldn't allow her. Apparently you had to do something practical, even if he had all the money in the world. Although she could have done something with the degree. She could have become an archaeologist or a professor. So she when to be a teacher, specializing in history. Her father wasn't happy for her to become a teacher, he wanted her to help him and her brother run the company. But Morgan had always enjoyed teaching after she corrected her teacher during one of her AS history classes. The teacher had joked saying why don't you teach the class. Morgan has detention for a week afterwards due to getting up and actually teaching the class.

They may be a school in London but for ages Morgan had hoped that she could take students down to Cornwall to the places where Arthur could have been, where Merlin could have saved him.

She had read may different versions of the legend and enjoyed every single one of them. It fascinated her how one story, one great legend, could all be told in a different way and some many times.

"Miss are we nearly there yet?"

Morgan placed down her book. She was just getting into it as well. It was a new version of the legend that had just come out. It was saying that Uther had a purge of magic and Merlin and Arthur were similar ages. Merlin had just been forced into choosing between Camelot and the Lady Morgana. She knew that he loved her from the start.

"Not really Michael. We are about an hour maybe an hour and a half away. I did warn you that it was a long journey when I gave out the letters." She said turning around to look at him.

Morgan turned back to her book.

"I don't know how you can read for so long moving. Even as I look at you I feel car sick."

Morgan looked at the teacher to her left. "Years of going here, there and everywhere over the country because of my father, you get use to it after a while. My brother wasn't much fun to talk to anyway. Also I may have been one of those teenagers that never had their head out of a book. I just enjoy reading too much."

Mrs Jennings was a kind lady. A few years older than Morgan but started at the same time. They had grown into a quick friendship that hadn't faltered. She was the first person that Morgan asked to come on this journey as she didn't really want to be stuck with anyone else.

Morgan went back to her book.

_Merlin poured the hemlock into the water skin. The guilt rushed through him. He had to do it he knew, he had to save Arthur. But why did it have to be Morgana? Why did he have to kill her? _

_His heart started to ache._

* * *

"This is the room that represents what the council chamber in Camelot may have looked like."

The room was covered in red and gold, the dragon standing tall. In the middle of the room was the famous round table.

The tour guide was boring and Morgan was correcting most things he said.

Morgan didn't really want the tour guide but as they were a big group their were required to have one. She belived it was because they were a school and need to be under some sort of supervision. Just because they were a comprehensive school didn't meant that their students didn't know how to behave. She hated how they were stereotyped.

"This is where Arthur sat with all his knights, his queen and faithful friend and adviser Merlin." The tour guide said as the stopped by the round table.

Everyone looked at it. Morgan swear she was having some type of deja vu.

"Again depends on the legend." Morgan spoke up after shaking of the feeling.

The tour guide turned to glare at her.

Morgan carried on. "The story I am reading at the moment, the round table has been established but Merlin hasn't got his place. He is still the manservant of the King. He has been for many years but they are close. You could call Merlin his unofficial adviser."

"Merlin was never the manservant of the king. He was the magical adviser of Uther then Arthur."

"Oh that's another thing that happened in this version of the legend. Merlin was born after a purge set about by Uther. He set about killing all the people with magic because of the death of his barren wife after Arthur was born because of magic." Morgan took the book out of her bag. "I am really enjoying this side of the legend. Arthur and Merlin are roughly the same age and Morgana is Arthur's sister by father."

The tour guide turned back around and stormed out of the room, the group quickly following him.

"I believe that he doesn't like you." Mrs Jennings whispered to Morgan.

"I know, its quite funny."

* * *

After a couple more rooms, the tour guide gave up and followed the group as Morgan took head of the group, explaining everything in the different rooms.

They went into the last room and Morgan was stumped.

In a glass case there was two roses, one white and one black, sitting in a vase. The black one has wilted but it still managed to have its colour.

Behind the case was photos and drawing of the two roses.

"Now you don't know everything." The tour guide said smugly. "These are the two roses that Merlin made just before Camlann with his lover, Morgana Pendragon. Legend has it that one rose is him while the other is her. As you can see for the pictures behind, the white rose seems to always be fine but the black rose fluctuates between being alive and dead."

"How is it possible that the white one is always alive then? Merlin must have died at some time." Sophie asked.

The tour guide turned to Morgan and saw her just staring at them.

"That's because Merlin was known as Emrys. Emrys in Welsh means immortal. This could prove that the legend was real. Merlin's destiny was with Arthur and Arthur was known as the once and future king. He will rise again when the world needs him again."

"Then couldn't he have already risen? We have been through two world wars and a Cold War. We would have needed his leadership then." Mrs Jennings asked.

The tour guide turned to her. "Of course but I don't think so. I believe that if the legend is true that we would all know when Arthur is back. Magic left the earth but I think it would come back when he does. So will everyone that he loves."

"So they will all come back?" Micheal said.

"I suppose so. The round table was established with those who were closest to Arthur. He would need their advice and guidance again."

The tour guide kept watching Morgan. He had never seen anybody react to the roses like she had done before.

Morgan took a step closer towards the roses. It felt like a force was dragging her towards them.

"They are beautiful." The words fell out of her mouth at the same time they were whispered in her head.

The world started to spin faster around Morgan. She couldn't stay up right.

She heard shouts of miss before she felt herself hit the floor.

Before she total blacked out she heard a voice.

"Goodbye Morgana."

Pain shot through her side as she welcomed the darkness.

* * *

An old man sitting by a lake quickly sat up with the speed of someone much younger than he looked.

A wave of magic had flowed through him.

A smile fell onto his face and a small chuckle.

She was back. She was finally back.

She wasn't far away but would she still be alive when he reached her? Would she still be single? Or would she want to kill him or want revenge? Would he get to her first?

He had no idea but was excited.

She wasn't too far away but it would mean that he would have to leave.

The man turned to the lake. "Sorry old friend, I need to help her this time. I hope that you understand and will forgive me. Forgive me for everything I have done. If you forgive me and she does as well, maybe I will learn to forgive myself."

With one last look at the lake, the old man started to run down the road. He knew where she was, he could feel her magic awakening.

_I just hope that I am not too late._


	2. Chapter 2

_I hope that the lyrics at the top of the chapter show some sort of feel for the chapter and link into it._

_So this is back in the 6th Century, back in Camelot and the land of knights and magic._

_This is also a sort of visoney flashback for Morgan._

_Quick reply to reviews:_

_yesthenLucky9 - thanks, but I will keep you guessing with that one for now ;) . Also here is the next update_

_Renaissancebooklover108 - thanks :)_

_sjritts - I believe that it might be more canon but this chapter will sort of be the only change to the proper story line. I have never really thought of the tour guide but now I have decided to include him as a reincarnation of someone :)_

_yaissa-chan - Glad you enjoyed it. Here is more detail about the roses._

_Enjoy :)_

* * *

**_You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
__And I don't want to go home right now_**

**Chapter 2**

Morgana woke up to feel someone's arms around her.

She snuggled closer into the warmth.

"Morning beautiful." A voice behind her said.

She turned so that she was laying on her side.

"Morning handsome." Morgana said smiling widely at him.

Merlin lied his head back down on the pillow, starring at Morgana.

"What's up?" Morgana said, knowing what he was going to say. She didn't want to go back, not yet. If she was being honest with herself, she would rather Merlin would take her away from it all. She didn't want to command an army that could potential kill the one that she loved.

"We are soon going to be on opposite sides." Merlin took a deep breath. "I don't think I could do it."

"Why not? We have done it for years."

"Because this time I don't know whether we will both make it out the other side alive."

Morgana took a deep breath. "Is it because you are Emrys?" She whispered.

Merlin swallowed. "The light to your dark, the love to your hate." He moved a lose strand of hair out of Morgana's eyes. "If I am put in a position that I have to choose between you and Arthur I don't know what I will do. Every other time I have had a chance where I can do both yet this time it feels different. It seems like everything over the past few years has led down to this moment, to this battle."

"I know who you will chose, you will pick Arthur, because you will always pick Arthur over anybody. Don't stop now. It is one of the features I most love about you. I asked you once why are you so loyal to Arthur, and you never gave me a straight answer. To think about it you never did give me an answer, you just questioned my loyalty. So I will ask you again, why are you so loyal?" Morgana was mainly curious about what his answer would be.

"Because I believe that he will bring about a golden age of Camelot which will include magic. It has been a dream that I have been told since I arrived at Camelot." Merlin said trying to avoid the part about her loyalty. He was angry with her at that point for no talking to him for ages then trying to kill Arthur.

Morgana stared at him. "Golden age of Camelot with magic. That's some dream."

Merlin gave her a small smile. "I hoped to see it. Magic running through the streets of Camelot. But too much has happened."

Morgana pulled herself towards Merlin. "And if I had known that maybe half these things wouldn't have happened."

"It wasn't your fault." Merlin said as he lent his forehead against hers. "I was told never to tell you. Maybe I should have done what I thought was right and dammed the consequences."

Morgana smiled. "See I always said that you should listen to me."

Merlin lifted his head to have a better look at her. "When did you say that?"

Morgana bit her lip. "All the time."

Merlin rolled over so that he was on top of her, pinning her to the bed.

"Well I haven't heard you say it once."

Morgana lift her head so that it would meet Merlin's but it never reached its destination.

Merlin was already kissing her neck and making his way down her collarbone towards her shoulder.

"We still have time don't we?" He said looking up at her.

Morgana gave him one of her playful smirks before he carried on what he was doing.

* * *

Morgana held onto Merlin's hands as they rested around her waist.

"Do we have to leave?" Morgana moaned.

"Unfortunately yes. Mordred would hate you if he found us together and Arthur would kill me. I don't think for lying with the enemy by for deflowering his sister."

Morgana chuckled slightly.

"I am not joking. One time Gwen joked that the reason I was out of Camelot so often was because I was seeing you, which is weirdly true, but Arthur warned me, saying that I should be a gentleman to you."

"Gentlemen, oh you were defiantly that. I think poisoning me helped our relationship. I mean would you have got with me if I didn't play them games on you."

"No I suppose not. I think up to a certain point Arthur thought that you were capable to redeem yourself."

"And now we are at war."

Silence fell and Morgana wished that it could just be them together, like this, forever. It didn't matter that they were in her old hovel, she didn't really want the throne. If she thought back now she did nothing that helped people with magic when she was on the throne. But she had started the campaign and now it was hard to get out of. She also blamed Arthur slightly for what happened to her and Aithusa. Her poor Aithusa. The only person to stick by her. Aithusa had managed to contact Merlin when the had managed to escape and he looked after them for a bit. Merlin had seen every side of Morgana and she didn't care. She loved him but destiny had other ideas.

"Blóstmá." Merlin whispered.

It was the first time Merlin had done magic in front of Morgana and she was amazed by it.

Two roses appeared in a vase. One as black as midnight, the other as white as snow.

"They are beautiful." She whispered.

"They represent us. They will live as long as we live."

Silence fell between them. Morgana knew that Merlin wanted to say something just didn't know how to get it out.

"What's up Merlin?"

"Mordred told you I was Emrys didn't he?"

Morgana hummed in response. "I thought I would be more angry when I found out your true identity but I just felt more sad."

"I made him like that though. He asked me whether I would do the same for another. I lied to him saying that I wouldn't. Morgana I would go to the ends of the earth for you. However we cannot both survive this."

"What only you can live forever?"

"I wouldn't want to live forever if it meant losing you."

Morgana was silent.

"If we meet on the battlefield, kill me please." Morgana said

Merlin stopped breathing for a moment.

"I wouldn't be able to."

"Merlin if I ask you to kill me please can you."

Merlin lent his chin on her shoulder. He knew that he had lost her years ago. Being in the pit had made her lose her mind and she had started to listen to the voices in her head asking her to kill. Merlin knew that she was never going to be the same person but it didn't help that he had helped her to her downward spiral.

"If you ask me then I will."

Morgana drew the triskelion on Merlin's hand.

"Thank you Emrys." Morgana purred out. "I am sorry for what I am going to do."

Merlin thought that it was weird that she called him Emrys but I suppose she had just asked him to kill her. Emrys was her doom, not that he wanted to be. He hated destiny.

They lied there for a while longer, only moving once the sun filtered in between the cracks.

"Lets go and be enemies." Morgana joked

* * *

Morgana used her magic to make Merlin fly away from Arthur.

She didn't want to hurt him but she had to tell Arthur.

"What a joy it is to see you, Arthur. Look at you, not so tall and mighty now. You may have won the battle, but you've lost the war. You're going to die by Mordred's hand. But don't worry, my dear brother, I won't let you die alone. I will stay and watch over you, until the wolves gorge on your carcass and bath in your blood."

It was true he wasn't going to die alone, however she wasn't going to watch him rot. She would get no pleasure out of it. What Merlin said about Arthur's destiny she believed.

_"Please Merlin, remember what you promised me."_

_"Then I want you to remember that I will always love you."_

Morgana smiled. It was the first real smile she had shown since she had been taken away from Camelot by Morgause.

"No, the time for all this blood shed is over. I blame myself for what you've become...but this has to end."

Morgana felt Merlin waver. She knew he could do it, he was strong enough.

"I am a High Priestess. No mortal blade can kill me." Morgana said with confidence.

Merlin stabs her.

Morgana gasps with pain and surprise. She looks up at Merlin but that is when she wished she didn't.

Tears started to come to his eyes.

"This is no mortal blade. Like yours, it was forged in a dragon's breath."

Morgana could hear the emotion in his voice.

"_Let me go please."_ Morgana telepathically said to him.

"_Not yet. I love you. Hopefully we will meet again."_

"_I love you too._"

Even as he was killing his love, a small smile formed on his lips.

If Arthur wasn't there, they both knew that he would have kissed her.

Instead he laid her down on the forest floor.

"Goodbye Morgana." Merlin said as Morgana took her final breath.


	3. Chapter 3

_ Whoever reads Forromah's Poison and this would have already read this but i thought it was important to put it on both._

_My laptop has decided that it doesn't want to work anymore which means I am updating on a family computer. This computer is regularly stolen by my sister so there may be times when I update on my phone. If this happens I will update again when I manage to get on a computer. I am sorry for any inconvenience this may cause. RIP my laptop (it was 4 years old so it has done its time)._

_However saying this, I will hopefully update this Wednesday morning as I have it off school. Just depends on how much editing I need to do._

_Reply to reviews:_

_yesthenLucky9 - I agree with you there. They should have done :)_

_Sjritts - Aithusa will be coming up in future chapters so you will get more of her. _

_Meri Ley (to both of your reviews) - Glad you like the story. I would update more however the story would be over very quickly and to be honest with you I don't really have the time as school and homework takes up most of that. :)_

_MegamiTenshiHime - Ummmmm ... sorry about that. It was just what Morgan saw when she fainted. That's why she heard "They are beautiful" and "Goodbye Morgana." _

_Renaissancebooklover108 - Again sorry about that. There may be another two chapters that you would need tissues for. _

* * *

**_And all I can taste is this moment  
__And all I can breathe is your life_**

**Chapter 3**

Morgan woke up with a number of different faces in hers.

"Come on move back, give her some space.. Come on guys move!" Mrs Jennings said.

The crowds dispersed and Mrs Jennings helped Morgan up.

"Steady there." Mrs Jennings said. "Are you alright?" She was still holding her up.

"Yes, no, I think so." Morgan was so confused.

The tour guide was still standing in the same spot as he was when Morgan fainted.

"Umm, there is a … um coffee shop if you wish to … um rest in there." He was amazed by the fact that this woman had passed out. Nobody had every passed out before. _It cannot be. It cannot be her remembering a past life._

Morgan blinked a few times. He reminded her of someone.

Morgan closed her eyes and tried to remember where he had seen him. He had fought with Uther in a tournament one time, the Decennial Tournament. He was the one from the finial. It was Gilli.

"That might be a good idea."

The tour guide was still studying her and she couldn't tell whether he knew that it was her or whether he knew who he was.

An old man turned up in the room.

Morgan would have gasped if she didn't want to keep up her cool exterior and not draw attention to herself or him.

"We will go to the cafe." She said without taking her eyes off the man. She hoped that he would follow them. She wanted to speak to him. It had been too long.

They walked straight passed the display.

No one but the old man took note that the black rose had changed.

It was now alive.

Morgana Pendragon was back in the world.

He just smiled and followed the group. He had to speak with her again. It had been too long.

* * *

Morgan looked around the cafe.

It was now filled with her students but manger didn't mind. Probably because he knew that they would spend money in here.

Morgan sighed. All she wanted was a strong coffee to hopefully clear her head.

She had been in a daydream for most of the queue until she reached the till.

"Hi what can I get you?" the cheery worker asked.

Morgan shock her head before replying. "I will have a strong white coffee with one sugar and whatever he behind me is having."

She had a feeling that she recognised the person behind her but wasn't sure from where.

"Umm ... That isn't necessary." The old man said.

"I insist." Morgan said as she turned and smiled at him.

His eyes, how could someone so old have eyes so young, but also have wisdom and look like he has lived for … well forever. They were deep blue and Morgan wanted him to tell her that he was who she thought he was.

"I will have a black tea, one sugar." He said eventually.

Once the drinks was made, Morgan picked up the tray and walked out side.

It was July and luckily warm enough to sit outside. Morgan knew it was better to be away from her students. She was going to be asked a hell load of questions when she got back.

Morgan stirred her coffee. "I would have thought you would have tried to find me sooner."

Morgan leaned back in he seat to see that the old man wasn't old any more.

Now she knew why his eyes were so old. His long silver hair was now short and black. His wrinkled face was now smooth with high cheek bones. Morgan couldn't help but smile.

"Sorry the past couple of times I have done that everything went wrong." He said leaning forward to pick up his tea.

"I wasn't asking for an apology, I was just wondering." Morgan said sipping on her coffee. "You look better young."

Merlin smiled at her. He still couldn't believe that she was here with him now. After all those years. He had to know how much she remembers.

"Do ... Um do you remember any of your other lives?" Merlin asked.

He looked different with his raincoat and trainers on rather than his tunic and neckerchief.

"No, only snippets of our first. I need to take you shopping sometime soon. A plain t shirt with a leather jacket and skinny jeans. Yes that will suit you very well."

"I don't need any new clothes." Merlin said. He was lying, he hadn't brought anything new since the turn of the 20th century. He looked down at what he was wearing. "Okay I may be a little out of date but umm ... I have ... Um been busy."

"For how long?" Morgan could tell that he was making it up.

"About 10 … 13 … 113 years."

"And how have you been busy?"

Merlin looked around for an excuse. "The World Wars and the Cold War didn't help. I was so sure that Arthur was going to come back that I couldn't bare to leave the lake. Well that was for most of the Cold War. I had to leave for the army for the world wars. I had turned myself young so that Arthur knew who I was and I was told to go and sign up. I didn't mind it really. Reminded of me when i was fighting for Arthur when he didn't know."

Morgan shock her head. "Has anyone else ever come back? And you said other lives, this isn't my first is it?"

"Gwen has been back once, 1917 is when I met her. Became a nurse for the British army and helped all the soldiers. She died a few months before the end of the war. It was sad, she had saved so many lives, including mine just a couple of times. However I knew that I would survive them, it was just nice to know that Gwen was still herself. Although most people still have the same mannerism." Merlin said, pausing for a moment.

"Like Lancelot. I have seen him twice, once in 1189 and the other in 1666. He had set out with Richard Lionheart on the third crusade, he didn't return. I heard that he died protecting the King which is all that he was brought up to do. He helped many people during the great fire, I only just managed to save his life. He finally married and grew old. He deserved that life."

"Still a hero dear Lancelot was. It was a shame he had to die when he did. So noble." Morgan said remembering.

Merlin hummed in response.

"Gwaine in 1748. He was one of the Bow Street runners. However he was dismissed due to drunkenness. But that is Gwaine for you. He was doing so well. He tried to be a policeman after the Metropolitan police act. He didn't get in for the same reason he was dismissed. Other than that nobody else. I think I saw a glimpse of Uther but I left him to his life. That was in 1692. Leader of the witch hunts. Some things never change do they." Merlin chuckled. "You always turn up. Whenever you die I always find you about 20 years later. I believe that you were mean to be immortal with me but because I killed you it led to a never ending cycle of you being reincarnated."

Morgan could say that she was impressed.

"No some people don't change. It's good to see that they were all like themselves. Have I always been the villain?"

Merlin moved about in his chair. "Sometimes. However it depends on the people. I mean you were the Tsarina Alexandria."

"Killed by Lenin and the whole country hated us." Morgan said.

"There were people that did love you. But we will leave it to the historians to judge that."

"But at least I was the Queen I should have been."

Merlin laughed. "You have been many Queens over the time. I have been advisers and servants just to get anywhere close to you."

Silence fell between them.

"So where do we go from here?" Morgan said.

Merlin cleared his throat. "Depends on you really. Do you want to start again?"

"Just tell me what you have been doing all these years."

Merlin sighed. "That's a long time. I doubt we have the time."

"Okay then tell me from when after you killed me."


	4. Chapter 4

_Right back to Camelot for this chapter._

_I was originally going to put this and the next chapter together but had too much to write and I like keeping you on cliffhangers._

_Reply to reviews:_

_sjritts - thanks for thinking Gilli was a good idea. He was the first one to come to mind but then I was tied between him and George. However in the end I knew that Morgana had kinda meet Gilli. I would have loved to see Gilli again too. Glad I managed to write them so well. I had originally just put random dates in for the other characters but then I thought about making them have certain events to be joined with. Well this is part 1 of 2 of the answer to the question._

_yesthenLucky9 - thanks, glad you liked them as I have said __I had originally just put random dates in for the other characters but then I thought about making them have certain events to be joined with. Also I think it shows that they all still have the same mannerism even though they are technically different people._

___MegamiTenshiHime - I suppose it is but there relationship was always complicated anyway :)_

___Renaissancebooklover108 - I would have a couple of tissues out. _

* * *

**_'Cause sooner or later it's over  
__I just don't want to miss you tonight_**

**Chapter 4**

Merlin looked out on the lake for a moment longer. That was it. 7 years of being in Camelot. 7 years of following one destiny. 7 years of losing people close to him. 7 years for nothing. Arthur had never brought about the golden age that the dragon promised. He had died after 7 years of knowing him.

Merlin knew that he couldn't go back to Camelot for a while. He couldn't face Gwen at this moment in time. He was meant to protect Arthur and he knew that Gaius would have told Gwen about that.

His thoughts went to a body lying in the forest.

Merlin bowed to the lake and left. Whispering that he would return.

His feet took him there automatically and before he knew it he was kneel down beside the body of his lover.

The first thing that Merlin did was to close Morgana's eyes. They had already lost the emerald green ages ago, after she was with the Sarrum.

Merlin knew it was wrong but couldn't help but taste her lips one more time.

He had already grieved Arthur now it was his time to grieve for Morgana. He had wished that he could have done it when her body was still slightly warm but Arthur would had died next to her and wouldn't have enjoyed watching the affection that Merlin would have wanted to give the dead woman.

"I kept it my love. To be honest, I didn't think that I had it in me." Merlin now had tears running down his face. "The thing that I never promised you was where I would bury you. I will take you to your father. I would think that is where you would want to be laid to rest. I will finally take you home."

Merlin picked her up and carried her all the way to the edge of the darkling woods. What he didn't expect was the few red and gold capes that were there when he arrived.

"We thought that you would bury her here." The queen said.

Merlin gave a small smile to his only friend left.

He laid Morgana down and grabbed the shovel that was lying on the floor and started to dig.

"Merlin , can't you ..."

Merlin stopped. "Even so Gwen, I don't want to. I have seen her doing tasks that could be done with magic by hand. I have hidden my magic for too long. She would have dug Mordred's grave, as I will dig hers. It's my fault that everything happened to her. I need some relief form it."

Gwen look at her friend.

"Why didn't you send her to Avalon like you do everyone else?" Gaius said.

Merlin started to dig again. Other than himself he blamed Gaius for Morgana's downfall into insanity. "Because I know that she would have wanted to be next to her father. After I helped her escape from the Sarrum, I promised her I would take her home, no matter what the cost. I don't mean Camelot. I was going to take her to her father's old estate. We never found the time due to wars and her recovery. This is the close that I can take her home."

Everyone offered him help but Merlin turned them down. It was his fault that Morgana was dead, it was his fault that Arthur was death, he could even blame himself for Gwaine's death, it was just all his fault.

When he had finished he placed her in there and called Athuisa, if she would answer his call. Merlin not only wanted Aithusa here for this moment but knew that she had to be here. The things they when through together was unimaginable.

Merlin wanted to wait longer but Gwen was worried for her friend and said that they should finish up.

Merlin had only put on shovel full of dirt onto Morgana's body when Aithusa's screeching came from the sky.

Merlin moved back as did everyone else. Merlin had very little control of the dragon and had very little idea what she would do once she had seen.

Aithusa landed by the grave and placed her head slightly inside

"Aithusa." Merlin said. "I am so sorry darling." Merlin held out his hand to go towards Aithusa.

He managed to reach her and kneel beside her. "It's all my fault but she had asked for this. She asked me to do it. I didn't want to." Merlin wiped his face.

Aithusa brought her head out of the grave and placed it on Merlin's lap.

"_She would have wanted me to be with you._" Aithusa said to him through their bond. "_I shouldn't be angry at you. I know how broken she was._"

"We will bury her together." Merlin said stroking the young dragons head.

Merlin got up and Aithusa pushed most of the mud in with her tail.

Together they got stones to put as a headstone.

"Ádihtan on stán*" Merlin said raising his hand to the stone.

Merlin lowered his hand to his his handy work.

Printed on the stone was 'Frécne beornia Morgana le Fay. Déhter, suster, hlæfdge, frénd, lufestre, feónd, feohtend. Séo endeláf sácerd of séo ældu godgild.'

"Is that..."

"Old English, the speak of the old religion. Obviously you can read her name."

"Not many people are going to know what it says." Gwen argued.

"Does it matter? I know what it says." Merlin said adamantly. He didn't need anyone else to read it.

"Then what does it say."

Merlin closed his eyes. He knew what exactly to put as he was walking with Morgana's body. "Here lies Morgana le Fay. Daughter, sister, lady, friend, lover, foe, fighter. The Last priestess of the old religion."

"Maybe you should put 'Sometimes you've got to do what you think is right, and damn the consequences.' I believe that is what she lived by and it eventually made her go insane and killed her."

"I made her insane, I killed her." Merlin said at the same time putting Morgana's life meaning on the stone.

"Merlin." Gaius said. "Don't blame yourself."

Merlin turned to his mentor. "Don't worry, I don't just blame myself. I blame you and Killgharrah as well."

Merlin then turned his back on his friends.

"Merlin! Merlin!" Gwen shouted after him. "Merlin we need you."

Merlin stopped and looked over his shoulder. "You may need me, but I cannot face you." Merlin swallowed. "I need some time away. Some time to think. I also have things to do."

"Where will you go?"

Merlin just looked with sad eyes. "I don't know."

Merlin resumed on his journey. It was too soon to go back to the lake of Avalon but he had to say a goodbye to one person. One person that changed everything.

* * *

It wasn't very hard to find Mordred's grave. Morgana had left the sword that killed Arthur on it.

"Gehyrdan ælmesæcer**" Merlin said, watching the ground glow gold.

Merlin looked up at the offending metal. That's what Morgana meant by 'I am sorry for what I am going to do'. It may have been for taking his magic but Morgana knew better than anyone that it was for killing Arthur. But this is how it was meant to end.

"Why did I have to be so stupid?" Merlin said falling to his knees, gripping his hair. He knew that he was going to go mad.

"Why did I let you go?" Merlin said looking up at the sword.

"I kept asking myself why and I know why, its because destiny has played me this way. I am no more a piece in her game as you was. The bloody dragon didn't help. I don't even think killing you at any point would have helped. I should have allowed you to be loyal to Arthur."

Merlin knew he had a few things to sort out. The Saxons from taking over Ablion, sorting out the few things that Morgana had, his own grief for his lover and friend.

"What went so wrong? Where did it go so wrong? Why did it go so wrong?"

Unfortunately Merlin knew most of the answers.

* * *

*Write on stone

** Strengthen ground


	5. Chapter 5

_Here is part 2._

_Reply to reviews:_

_Meri Ley - I am glad you find it so interesting. Here we return to Camelot._

_Renaissancebooklover108 - no problem ;)_

_sjritts - I am glad you enjoyed that scene. I had always imagined Merlin would have taken great detail in where he buried Morgana because I still believe that he felt for her even if he ended up killing her in the end. I thought Gwen would be the same as well. _

* * *

**_And I don't want the world to see me  
__'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_**

**Chapter 5**

It had been 10 years since Camlann and only now had Merlin found the courage to return to Camelot.

Merlin didn't know what he was more scared of, seeing how much Camelot had changed or having to see Gwen again knowing that he couldn't save her husband.

Merlin had changed a lot in the 10 years. Being in solitude had changed him, not only in appearance but personality.

All the muscle that came about him being a manservant had gone from little use, his hair had become rowdy and long. Morgana used to cut his hair if his mother already hadn't. She said that he didn't suit long hair.

Merlin sighed. Even after 10 years Merlin still wanted to touch Morgana, to see her again.

He still thought about them. In his madness, he had even imagined them. He would think that Arthur was shouting his name or Morgana trying to seduce him. The images never lasted for long and Merlin was sure that he was on the edge of insanity.

That's why he had to go back. He had to have human contact or he was scared that he would turn into Morgana.

Aithusa had left him, not wanting to be near her master. He knew that he would never have the relationship that Morgana had with her.

Merlin reached the top of the hill.

Camelot still looked as magnificent as it did when he first arrived. Yet he was the innocent boy that arrived. Merlin couldn't believe how much his life had changed.

Merlin had spend a little time at the lake of Avalon but the rest he was at the hovel that he met Morgana at.

He kept an eye on the roses. His white on shone through the darkness of the hovel while its friend had wilted.

Merlin walked through the streets trying to brush off the stares that the people were giving him. Most of them would have thought he would have returned with the queen.

* * *

Gwen was walking through the town when this man walked into her.

"Excuse me." One of the knights said pushing the man to the floor.

The man fell to the floor and made no move to get up.

The knight stood over the man.

"Sir Henry, that is enough." Gwen said as she recognised the man.

"Do you know who this is?" Henry screamed at the man.

"Of course he does. He is Merlin." Gwen said looked at the knight.

Gwen pushed the knight out the way and offered her hand to her friend.

Merlin pushed himself up without using Gwen's hand. Yet after he got up he took her hand and have it a kiss.

Gwen smiled at him then slapped him.

"10 years! It's been 10 years since I saw you. You said you would return." Gwen shouted at him.

She didn't care who watched her. He was all she had left and she thought that he had left her.

"I have haven't I?" Merlin said with his same cheeky tone he use to us.

"Don't be cheeky with me Merlin." Gwen said pointing her finger in his face.

"Me be cheeky, never." Merlin said as he held out his arm for her.

* * *

Merlin left again after 5 years. Left in the night with only a letter.

Gwen read through the letter constantly after he left as if it would give her clues to where he had gone.

Even if Gwen knew that Merlin could look after himself, she knew that he was still grief stricken and needed people around him to help him through it.

Not only that but Gwen loved having her friend back. Merlin made everything seem like it was normal.

Yet Gwen knew he was going to leave. Even time he walked down the corridors, he would linger outside Arthur and Morgana's chambers, thinking nobody could see him. His head would perk up at times as if he has heard someone call his name. He would refuse to go to places which I believed was weird.

But there was also the death of Gaius. Gwen was scared that he was going to run off after the ceremony but he had stayed, for 6 months.

Gwen could see that everything was starting to get to Merlin and there was very little that she could do to stop him. He needed time away from Camelot and everything. She just hoped that he would return.

"Why are you reading that letter again?"

Gwen turned to see the young man by the door.

"Amhar, I need him."

Amhar came and sat on his father's desk.

"I know you do, mother. Just ... I still don't understand why I couldn't tell him who I was."

Gwen lent on the window. She wanted to tell Merlin about Amhar and but thought that he would have noticed. It wasn't as though they hide him away. "I thought he would realise. You are the split of your father."

Amhar smiled. "I should just be happy that I met my Uncle Merlin."

Gwen looked at the young man.

"He will kick himself when he realises." Gwen smiled.

They looked out as the new day began.

"Did he really love Aunty Morgana?" Amhar asked.

"I believe so. Every time she left, a part of him left with her. He isn't the man he use to be. But that might not just be because of losing her."

Amhar stood up and pulled his mother into a hug.

"He said he would be back. I am sure he is a man of his word."

Gwen smiled and Amhar realised his mother.

"I have got duties to attend to." He said bowing to her and leaving.

Gwen sighed.

She would have thought that Merlin would had noticed Amhar.

* * *

Merlin didn't want to leave. He didn't want to leave Gwen on her own again but he needed to.

He couldn't bare to see her getting older and older while he seemed to stay the same age.

He had noticed all his friends starting to wrinkle and go grey. Gwen just said that he aged better than most people. But they were all nearly 45. They should be ageing.  
Merlin thought of a few people he could ask however most of them were dead.

He had tried to ask Gaius but he just brushed it off.

Merlin knew that there were people to ask he just needed to find them.

That's why Merlin left. He left for answers that he couldn't find in Camelot.

Many of the druids had fled the five kingdoms when the Saxons tried to take over and Merlin met Iseldir on the border between Caerleon and Powys, making sure that he met with King Damien.

Damien was Queen Annis' great-nephew, the only living relative that she had left. He didn't even know that he had a great-aunty that was a Queen. What Merlin believed, after find very little, was that Annis and her sister Marinia had a falling out, which led to the sisters disowning each other. Damien was only 25, young but was a good king.

Merlin tried to help him when he could because he reminded him so much of Arthur.

"Iseldir, it's good to see you." Merlin said once he reached the older man.

"It's good to see you too Emrys."

Merlin sighed.

"So you are now understanding the meaning of Emrys." Iseldir said with a smile.

"What do you mean?" Merlin said.

"Being in Powys, they speak another language. In English you should be called Ambrose, which means the same thing. Immortal."

That was a blow to Merlin.

"Are you okay Emrys?"

Merlin was still zoned out.

"So I am meant to sit around and watch my friends die. I am meant to watch the world go by." Merlin said.

He wanted to scream to the triple goddess for doing this to him.

"Emrys, you were born for this. Arthur will rise again, you need to be alive for him to come back. You are two sides of the same coin."

He remembered what he said to Morgana. How he couldn't bare to live without her.

If he was immortal, how was he meant to cope?

"And how am I meant to live without them?" Merlin looked defeated. "Destiny hates me. I couldn't save everyone I loved. I was even made to kill one."

Merlin thought back to Morgana and Arthur's deaths and knew that he would be insane.

"You cannot be angry at yourself forever Emrys."

"I have to go." Merlin said turning away from the druid.

"I know." Iseldir whispered as he watched the man go.

Merlin needed to know. It wasn't fair if he didn't know.

Iseldir didn't know what he could have been thinking but he knew that Merlin would fight through it.

He was Emrys after all.


	6. Chapter 6

_Back to modern times and a giant chapter.__  
_

_Reply to reviews._

_sjritts - It would and that's why Merlin (more in future chapters) finds it hard. Everything that has happened to him has effected him in some way._

_Renaissancebooklover108 - I know it was a sad chapter but that is is for now ... for maybe just this chapter._

* * *

**_When everything's meant to be broken  
__I just want you to know who I am_**

**Chapter 6**

"Then I just waited by the lake. Sometimes I wondered away from it and searched for work but there was no place like home. I heard of all their deaths." Merlin finished.

Morgan just sat there.

"We have all been through so much. But the triple goddess have given us a new start. That's why I am so interested in the Arthurian legend. The goddess wanted us to be together. Who are we to stop her?"

Merlin looked up at Morgana, no Morgan. She was Morgan now.

"Firstly we need to get you new clothes and then think of a name for you. Not many people call their children Merlin nowadays."

"I think that they do, what about Merlin Olsen?"

Morgan raised her eyebrow.

"You know the famous American football player. He only died a few years ago."

"Merlin do I look like someone who watches sport?"

"No." Merlin said shaking his head. "There are some actors ..."

"Merlin, I don't care. You are coming up with a more modern name."

Merlin sighed he knew there was very little point arguing with her. Even Arthur knew that she would win eventually.

"What about Marlin?" Merlin said.

"That is too close to your own name, what about Aaron?"

"And yours isn't? You were Morgana and now you are Morgan."

"Good Aaron it is then. Also I didn't chose my name."

"Neither did I." Merlin tried to argue.

"Yes but yours was chosen _ages_ ago." Morgan said.

Merlin huffed. He couldn't believe how stubborn she was but that is what he liked about her. Just he wished she wasn't so stubborn on things to do with him.

"So how are you getting back to London?" Morgan said finishing her coffee.

"Aren't I ..." Merlin started to say.

"No, no, no. I already have too many questions to answer. I will give you my address and I will met you there."

"Great." Merlin said under his breath.

Morgan wrote down her address and phone number.

"Call me if you get lost." she said getting up and kissed him on the cheek.

Merlin watched her go and smiled widely.

She remembered. He had been waiting for this for ages.

He hadn't told her everything and he knew that she would find that out later but this wasn't the time or the place to talk about her other lives or Aithusa.

How he had neglected the young dragon?

He didn't want to but nobody could get near her. She couldn't hunt and wouldn't accept any food off him.

Merlin sighed. He had only been to London once and that was the time of the black death. He wanted to help people but couldn't. It was too many to cure by magic and too suspicious if a few got better. He would sit there and watch people die. But after a goddess knows how many years watching people die, it doesn't become to difficult to watch.

"Aaron." Merlin tried it on his tongue.

Merlin smiled. Even if he hated the fact that he had to change his name, he always knew that Morgana would chose a good name.

_Morgan not Morgana._

He must remember that.

Merlin picked up the napkin and left.

Firstly he needed money. Good thing he kept changing the money that he earned it. Merlin must admit that the currency used today was the most easy to use. There had been many weird and wonderful ones over the years.

Merlin reached into his pocket and pulled out a little navy-blue book.

"National Westminster." Merlin whispered.

The book was all tatty.

"1968" Merlin said once he opened the front page.

Merlin scratched his head. The bank was in the name of Merlin Wyllt. How was he going to get the money out with it? Would he be able to get money out with it?

"Excuse me, do you know where the closest National Westminster is?" Merlin said to the waitress that was cleaning the table he was at.

The waitress looked at him with confusion.

Merlin looked back that the book. "It may be called NatWest now." He said trying again.

The waitress shock her head. "Yes of course, if you go right out of this building then you come on to the high street from there walk up and its on your left."

"Thank you" Merlin said.

The waitress carried on her job as Merlin left.

_Lets get on with my life._

* * *

Morgan watched as Merlin left the museum and turned right up the high street. She had never really thought of how he was going to get to her and it was probably selfish for her to leave him to find his own way there but she knew how teenagers could be with gossip, especially about the teachers if they got hold of anything.

"Are you all right now Miss?" Sophie said as she got onto the bus.

"Yes Sophie, I am fine." Morgan smiled at her.

"I think Miss Fay has an admirer." Harry said to his friends as he got on the coach.

"And why would you think that Harry?" Morgan said stopping him.

"Because the man that you were talking with is now looking over at us and starring right at you."

Harry pointed over at Merlin.

Morgan shock her head. _I thought he had gone._

_I did, I just wanted to look at you one last time before I meet you again. _

Morgan shock her had again. She swear that she just thought something in Merlin's voice. And why would she think of something like that.

_Because isn't not you, it's me. _Merlin's voice said again. _Meet you in London._

_In London. _Morgan said getting on the coach herself.

"So who is he?" Miss Jennings said to her when she sat down.

"He is only an old friend of mine." Morgan said.

"Well he is rather tasty."

Morgan couldn't help but roll her eyes.

Merlin had got a lot of attention at his time in Camelot and that had made Morgana jealous. But she knew what it was. It was his boyish looks and charm, his high cheekbones that you could cut yourself on and his kind manner.

"He has changed a lot since I last saw him." Morgan said before she took out her book. She knew the ending now because she had lived it. But she didn't know if this was that version.

She opened it where she had left it.

"_You know, there's one thing I don't understand, Merlin." Morgana said as she cleaned his wound. "You're Arthur's servant, nothing more. Yet, time and again, you've proved yourself willing to lay down your life for him."_

"_What are you doing?" Merlin asked._

_Morgana turned to him. "Have you never seen Gaius clean a wound before?" _

"_All right, I know what you're doing. What I don't know is why."_

_Morgana grabbed his face. "I believe I asked you a question first. Why are you so loyal to Arthur?" _

"_I don't expect you to understand, Morgana. You have no sense of duty, no sense of loyalty."_

"_You're wrong. Don't think I don't understand loyalty just because I've got no one left to be loyal to." Morgana spat at him_

* * *

It was a couple of days before Merlin arrived on her doorstep.

He had at least changed his clothes.

Merlin had decided to go for a chequered shirt, buttoned all they way down save for a few buttons at the top that showed a white t shirt underneath, with a black leather jacket and denim skinny jeans. He stood there looking slightly awkward, holding a bunch of flowers.

"How do I look?" Merlin said turning around.

"Lovely." was the only word Morgan could get out.

"Well you said that I should update my clothes. A very nice shop assistant helped me chose what to wear. I hope you don't mind." Merlin said kinda letting himself in. "for you" He held out the flowers.

"Thank you, no I don't mind and at least we have something to go on."

"Well new life, new name, new style." Merlin said.

"May I ask how did you get the money to buy that and get here?"

"Being alive all these years has its perks. I need you help choosing a bank. I have had money in the NatWest for 45 years and now they are wondering why I have only just got money out. Well not me, more my grandfather put money in there in 1968 and never touched it until his grandson came today saying that his grandfather was dead and left all his money to him. I thought I might have to pretend to faint about how much was in there but it was real."

"Why? How much do you have?" Morgan asked curiously.

"Well I put about £134,310 in there in 1968 and with the interest rate I had on it, there is £362,637."

Morgan stood there opened mouthed. "How did you have that much?"

"Well I transferred most of my silver into gold, because the gold price was higher and put it in there. I did cheat slightly but making my account have 6% interest but I suppose that is what you get for having it in there for 45 years."

"You're bloody rich Merlin"

"I suppose I am."

Morgan just smiled at him. "Do you still have some gold left?"

"A few thousand coins. I wasn't stupid to put it all in the bank. I thought that they may go back to gold and silver."

Morgan pulled out her laptop and turned it on. Merlin didn't question what she was doing but looked around her house.

Well it wasn't a house, it was a flat. You went from the door straight into the living room, which was a good size with a flat screen TV and leather sofas. The kitchen was just before the living room but had a hatch into it. Merlin shock his head at the colour of it. The worktops were made of earthstone black star with rounded edges while everything else was white.

"Merlin come and have a look at this." Morgan shouted from the living room.

Merlin stopped snooping and returned to her side.

"Yes Morgan."

"£750.79 for an ounce. For one ounce."

"Yes I could be rich Morgan but why would I want to be rich without you."

Morgan left it for the moment. It was more nice to know that if anything happened he could look after himself, even though he really hadn't.

"Shopping tomorrow?" Merlin proposed.

Morgan just nodded. "Yes Aaron. I need to get use to that."

"You think you need to get use to it."

Morgan couldn't help but laugh.

"Remind me I need to buy you a scarf."

Merlin looked at her. "Why?"

"I always liked you in your neckerchief. Arthur may not have liked it but I did."

Merlin just nodded his head not taking notice of much.

Morgan just looked up at him.

"What you thinking about?"

Merlin just hummed.

"Come on. It has been a long day." Morgan said taking his hand.

Merlin just allowed himself to be led to her room. There was no point in protesting. One reason was that they weren't in the 6th century any more and those traditions didn't matter. Another was that it wasn't like it was the first time. They had shared a bed more times than he could remember. Whether it was her as Morgana or in another life.

Merlin knew that some excitement would come to his life now.


	7. Chapter 7

_There is another colleague of Morgan's here. I hope you like her :)_

_From now on Merlin is known as Aaron unless it is stated._

_Reply__ to reviews:_

_sjritts - There are a few stories behind there relationship when she was reborn and at least one of them is explained later on (early morning shifts and my history A level came in use for that :P) _

_MegamiTenshiHime - I know but he has been alive for many years so he would have got quite a bit over them._

_Renaissancebookerlover108 - it was very smart_

* * *

**_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
_**_**Or the moment of truth in your lie**s_

**Chapter 7**

Last few days of school left was the only thought going round Morgan's head to get her through the last days.

There was still coursework coming in and essays to finish marking before they broke up.

Morgan knew that she should have done it at the weekend but she enjoyed shopping with Merlin.

_It's Aaron now. Come on he has got use to your name, why can't you get use to his? You even chose his name._

They had managed to get him a whole new wardrobe and move all his money into a number of different accounts. Aaron could now manage on his own.

But Morgan never wanted that to happen again.

Morgan looked up from her last minute marking to pick up the book she had read.

It was her past life. She remembered every single detail, well of the parts she was in. She enjoyed learning about what they were doing when she wasn't there.

But something troubled her. It said that the last of the dragons died not long after Camlann. Aithusa was only a few years old, she couldn't have died.

Morgan remembered the state that she was in after the Sarrum but surly that couldn't have killed her could it?

Morgan gave up on the essays and went to the staff room for a coffee.

In this life, she hadn't had a boyfriend. Her brother would always scare any boy off, even at university. So Aaron was just amazing. He had been patient with her. He had to be patient if he had waited over 1500 years for Arthur to rise from that stupid lake.

Morgan had just flipped the switch on the kettle when Miss East started talking to her.

"So who's your fella?" She asked.

Morgan rolled her eyes at her. Miss East was nice enough but so bloody nosy. You had to be extremely careful for her not to find out about anything.

"He isn't my fella, he is just a friend that ..." Morgan started.

"That's staying in your house. Did you have a good shopping trip? There was loads of bags."

Morgan stopped talking there. She knew she wouldn't get a word in.

"He is rather good looking. See we all had bets that you were, you know playing for the other team as you had never had a bloke."

Morgan just rolled her eyes. "I am glad that you all thought of me in that light." She said with sarcasm.

Morgan could be really sarcastic if she wanted to be and it was usually to Miss East.

"Come on stop teasing the woman." Mrs Jennings said. "But he came all the way from Cornwall to London. He is a keeper."

"And for a moment there I thought you were on my side." Morgan said taking her coffee.

"Oh come on you know that I am joking." Morgan heard her say before the door closed.

Morgan had made up her mind that she was going to ask Aaron about Aithusa.

* * *

Morgan watched Aaron in the kitchen.

He said that he would take over that job as she was still working and he hadn't found a job. He said that he need to do his bit but she thought it was because he still hadn't forgiven himself.

Morgan didn't know how to address him. Was Aaron, her one and only boyfriend, going to answer? Was it going to be Merlin, her lover? Or Emrys, her doom?

She wondered how the one man could be all three at once. Well she had actually made the third one.

"Merlin." She had decided with. It was talking about the past.

Aaron hummed.

"Merlin." She tried again.

"I am listening." Aaron said.

"Merlin look at me."

Aaron turned the hob off and placed down the saucepan.

"I am nearly finished. Can't this wait till during dinner? Why are you calling me Merlin? I thought you had just got use to calling me Aaron."

"I know." Morgan started. "Merlin I need to speak with you and I need to answer me truthfully."

Aaron nodded and turned to place the pasta that he had cooked in the oven. The oven hadn't been on but it would keep the heat.

"I am all yours." Aaron said turning back.

"I … I finished the book." Morgan started feeling her courage leaving her.

"Book?" Aaron said looking confused.

"Book about us. At the end it said that the dragons was wiped out not long after Camlann. That cannot be possible. Dragons can live for thousands of years. Aithusa must have been the last dragon. What happened to her?"

Aaron swallowed.

"In my time away from Camelot, she was one of the things on my list. I needed to make an amends with her after I blocked out her calls for help. She called me more than once to come and save you from the Sarrum. I ignored her before she became to persistent. I should have answered her first call. She never forgave me for that but worked with me because she saw what happiness I brought to you."

Aaron didn't look up from the wooden floor.

"After you death, the only call she answered to was the one for your funeral. She was too weak from her time with the Sarrum that she couldn't hunt as efficiently as most dragons. I came and gave her food and water but she wouldn't take any of it. She blamed me for what happened to you and her. She blamed me for your insanity. She blamed me for your death. She was getting weaker and weaker and in the end I was trying to order her to eat and drink. There was another dragon but he died a few days after Arthur's death. Aithusa slowly wasted away and died 5 years after Camlann. I brought her into the world and she hated me."

Aaron finally found the strength to look up at Morgan.

"When was her first call?" Morgan asked with tears in her eyes.

"It was … it was about … about the time of your capture."

"Why didn't you answer her?"

"I thought she was calling me out to play with her. She was young and always called me out to play. Anyway I was with Arthur in Cearleon. I couldn't really drop everything and run could I? As you have always side I would chose Arthur over everyone."

Morgan slapped him. He remembered Gwen's slap. Gwen's was in frustration that she hadn't seen her friend for a long time. Morgan's was out of anger and hurt hell of a lot more.

"You left her to deform in a pit." Morgan seethed at him.

"I know, do you think I enjoyed watching her die in a cave? I was helpless Morgan. I didn't want her to hate me but I was still young and stupid."

That led to another slap.

"Don't you think I regret it?" Aaron said looking up at Morgan.

Morgan stopped there. "Just get out."

Aaron didn't want to go, he wanted to stay and hold her. Try and stop her from crying but he knew better.

He moved around her and collected his wallet and phone and left.

* * *

Morgan collapsed. She hoped that he would have stayed to fight for her forgiveness but she knew he was better at running away from his problems than facing them.

She didn't know how she could forgive him for this one. It would have to be something big.

She loved Aithusa and it pained her to think that she had died hating Merlin.

Morgan didn't feel like eating and pick herself off the floor to get into bed.

It felt colder than had done and wondered how she lived with this coldness.

* * *

Aaron walked down the street until he hit a local Bed and Breakfast. He booked a room and went straight up to it.

He could always eat later.

Aaron pulled out his phone and loaded up the internet.

Morgan had insisted that he had an iPhone as she couldn't live without on so he wasn't meant to either.

He scrolled threw a number of pages before he knew what he was going to do.

He knew he had to do something big for her to forgive him.

Aaron pulled back the covers and go into the bed.

A single bed now felt too small compared to Morgan's king-sized one.

It also felt so much colder than had done and wondered how he lived with this coldness.


	8. Chapter 8

_Reply to reviews:_

_sjritts - I know but it was kinda necessary. Glad you liked her. _

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* * *

**_When everything feels like the movies  
_****_Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive_**

**Chapter 8**

Morgan managed to pull herself out of bed the next day. She didn't want to. She just felt so exhausted.

She flipped the kettle on once she got into the kitchen.

The saucepan was is there from last night.

Morgan listened to the kettle bubbling away rather than her own thoughts.

Even though Aaron had only been here for a couple of days, he had made her flat seem louder than it was now.

Morgan made herself a coffee and looked up at the clock.

It was 8:50.

Morgan's eyes widen with shock. She only had 10 minutes to get to school and it was a 15 minute drive.

Morgan poured her coffee into a flask and ran out the door, grabbing all the bags by her door.

She shoved the bag into her car and was thankful that she got changed before she left the bedroom.

* * *

"I am sorry I am late" Morgan shouted above her form.

"Miss come on its only 2 days before the end of term and then we are off for two weeks." Jamie said.

"Don't you think I know that." Morgan said sarcastically.

She flopped down into her chair and started up the computer.

"Are you okay miss?" Sophie asked.

"I am fine. Just overlaid. I think everyone has done that once or twice before."

Jamie put his arm around Sophie. "I don't think she is."

Morgan stood up and sat on the edge of her desk. "Well if you know so much about my life Jamie why don't you tell me what I am feeling?"

"See miss you forget that we live in the same building. I was walk up the stairs to my floor when I heard shouting and a man storm out of the flat that the shouting came from. He was mumbling about tell her earlier and not leaving it, just like his magic. I thought I was all strange until I realized that it was the man that I saw you go and shop with. So what were you fighting about?"

Morgan wanted to sigh but couldn't allow herself to.

"Also, I know where you live." Jamie said in the most creepy voice.

Morgan smiled. "Of course you know where I live but if I get anything through my letterbox, you will be my first victim."

"Miss Fay." Said the headmaster, pocking his head around the door. "Could I have a word with your form."

Morgan smiled. "Of course, they are all yours." She got off the edge of her desk and went back to her computer.

The headmaster stood in front of the form, blocking Morgan from view. "Right we have a professor from the University of Exeter coming to speak to you about Miss Fay's favourite topic, the Arthurian legend."

Morgan stopped what she was doing and looked up at the headmaster. As all the teacher's chairs were office chairs, Morgan pushed herself out behind her desk.

"Really who?"

The headmaster turned and looked at her. "Aaron Wyllt."

Morgan tried not to react to the name but hoped that he was going to do something special.

_Maybe this is his way of trying to make it up to me?_

* * *

After everyone was in the hall, Aaron started to speak.

"Hello I am Aaron Wyllt. I am a professor at Exeter and I am here to talk to you about the Arthurian legend. There has been many different versions of the legend but I want to know which one all of you think is right. There's Geoffrey of Monmouth's accounts, Gildas, Mark Twain, Martin Phillips?"

Morgan smiled. She knew that Martin Phillips had the proper account of the Arthurian legend.

"Depends which one Miss Fay believes in." One of the students shouted.

"Miss Fay?" Aaron said looking at Morgan. "Which one do you believe is right?"

"It's a legend so they all potentially have truth and lies in all of them but I would have to say that I believe Martin Phillips' account of the legend seemed the more realistic."

Aaron smiled. He was just happy that Morgan was talking to him again.

"What if I told you that it was the actual legend?"

"I would have to ask what proof you have." Morgan shot back at him.

Aaron smiled. "There are two roses in a museum in Cornwall, the white one is always alive while the black one goes in and out of being wilted or alive. Emrys means immortal in Welsh. If what Phillips says is true and the roses represent Merlin and Morgana then the fact that the white one is always alive proves that point."

"What if the white one is plastic and the black one just gets replaced so it fits in with the legend?" Morgan asked.

"I have felt the white one, it is defiantly a real rose."

"Okay so Merlin is a dragonlord, why didn't he answer to the calls of his baby dragon Aithusa?"

Aaron wanted to flinch but didn't. He knew he had to say something. He knew this is why he was here for.

"Because at that moment in time Aithusa wasn't his biggest problem. He thought that Aithusa was just trying to be playful and wanted to see her master as the other dragon, Killgharrah, wasn't much fun. It backfired when he finally answered her call. Not only did he regret not answering it earlier, wished that he could have left it again. Merlin wasn't happy with what he saw and Aithusa never forgave him for it. That's why she was on Morgana's side. She saw the pain that Merlin had placed on her and tried to save her from that. To begin with Aithusa was sent to try and save Morgana from the darkness but to Aithusa, Merlin was that darkness. I believe that it wouldn't be a thing that he would easily be able to forgive himself and if the Arthurain legend was true then he would still be regretting it till this day. And if Morgana was reincarnated then he wouldn't want her finding out about it as it would break his heart to know that she knew about him neglecting them."  
Aaron finished his speech with a sigh.

Morgan turned to the students. "Come on he is here for you lot, ask him some questions."

Morgan then slipped out of the hall.

She sat on the little sofa used as a little reception room. Aaron didn't want her to know, that's why he didn't tell her and was reluctant to. Even just telling her must have brought back bad feelings. No wonder he wanted to get away from her last night.

The students flooded out of the hall as the bell went.

It was now break and Morgan needed a coffee so badly.

* * *

Aaron walked into the staff room with the headmaster. He couldn't believe how easy it was to talk him into allow him to do the talk but the first part of his plan had worked fine.

Morgan stood by the kettle.

"What you making Morgan?"

Morgan turned to the headmaster with surprise. She must have been in her own thoughts.

"I was making a coffee but I can make tea if you want one."

"I will have a coffee and Mr Wyllt?" The headmaster said.

"A black tea, one sugar." Aaron said. He knew that Morgan already knew that but had to tell her anyway.

Morgan placed their drinks in front of them as all the teachers came into the staff room. Morgan knew she wasn't going to enjoy this.

Miss East was the first one. "Oh your the man I saw out with our Morgan. Why spend your time with her? I will be much better. You are rather cute aren't you?"

Aaron held back the retort of 'And you are rather rude.'

"A professor? I have never dated one of them before. Are you and Morgan going out?"

Aaron now knew why Morgan moaned about her. He still had the same idea of trying to see the good in people but Miss East was starting to get on his nerves.

"Come on leave him alone." Morgan said.

"Oh I see you are quick to deny anything." Miss East said.

Aaron could see that Morgan wanted to slap her.

"Miss East isn't it?" Aaron said.

"Yes but you can call me ..."

"Great, you know maybe you should stop peering into other people's lives. I have seen many people do this and it is usually because they aren't happy with their own. Whether I am with Morgan doesn't make any difference to you. Now do you mind getting out of my face, there are other people I would wish to speak to."  
Aaron picked up his tea and moved over to Morgan.

"Sorry I didn't believe you about her." He whispered.

Miss East was glued to the placed stunned.

Morgan chuckled.

"What?" Aaron said to her.

"I don't think anyone had made Miss East speechless before."

"Well years of Arthur comes down to something."

* * *

Morgan was halfway through teaching the beginning of the Cold War when there was a knock at the door.

"Flowers for Miss Fay?" The woman said as she poked her head around the door.

Morgan smiled and went over to pick them up.

They were wild flowers, mainly purples and pinks.

Morgan smiled wider. She remembered Merlin getting her some just like this after she found out about her magic.

"Thank you."

* * *

Aaron was standing by Morgan's car when she came to it after school.

"Look what I said today I meant. I have thought over it for all these years and there is nothing I can do to change what happened."

Morgan sighed. "I'm sorry I didn't realise the hurt that you went through. Maybe we can start again."

"Look Morgan I don't want to start again. I want to start where we left off. Before Camlann, we were speaking of marriage. Well." Aaron got down on one knee. "I want that to become real." He took a box out of the top pocket of his jacket and took her hands in his. "I have thought about it all these years. What our marriage would have been like? Would we have moved away from Camelot to a haven where we would be accepted for our magic? What would our children look like?" Aaron shock his head. "But that doesn't matter now. We are in a modern age and I want to marry you. We answer all the other questions later." He opened the box to brilliant diamond ring. "Morgan Fay will you marry me?"

Morgan just stared at him. Yesterday they had fallen out and now he was proposing to her.

"If it will make your decision easier, they are all real diamonds and I could get a matching necklace."

Morgan just laughed. "Yes, of course Aaron."

He stood up and kissed her. He took the ring out of the box and put it on her finger.


	9. Chapter 9

_Just a little outline of schools in England for understanding. Like most school the year is split into 3 (autumn, spring and summer term). For the summer holidays we have 6 weeks off and this chapter is set after that._

_Reply to reviews:_

_sjritts - glad you weren't expecting that. I always manage to put these two together somehow in my stories. Thanks for thinking Aaron's smart mouth is good. There is more this chapter._

_MegamiTenshiHime - I know_

_Renaissancebookerlover108 - another wedding to write ;)_

* * *

**_And I don't want the world to see me  
_****_'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_**

**Chapter 9**

It was a new term, a new school year and Morgan couldn't wait for it.

She had enjoyed the 6 weeks off with Aaron and had finally found him a job as an A&E doctor.

It means now that he had weird hours but Morgan knew that he was doing something that he enjoyed as it probably reminded him of the past and how he use to help Gaius.

Morgan had just finished loading up her car and about to leave when Aaron walked around the corner. He looked rushed off his feet.

"Alright handsome." Morgan shouted.

Aaron came out of his thoughts and smiled at her.

"Yes and how is my beautiful princess today?" Aaron said putting his arms around her waist.

"Oh beautiful princess is it now?"

"Well you were technical one." He said in a matter for fact way.

"Suppose so." Morgan looked at him. "At this rate I will be late which I don't mind but you look exhausted. Go on, go have a shower and get to bed."

Aaron yawned. "That seems like a very good idea."

Aaron kissed her on the cheek and then let go of her, walking towards the door.

Morgan watched as he struggled to put the key in the door.

"Want any help?"

He managed to get it before turning back to her.

"Aren't you going to be late?" He said to her.

Morgan waved at him before she got into her car.

* * *

"Sorry I'm late." Morgan said as she entered the staff room.

The headmaster looked at the clock. "Well you are earlier than you were last year."

Morgan smiled and took the coffee that Mrs Jennings was offering her.

"Thanks." She whispered as the headmaster when on about reaching targets and that this year will be better than last year.

"When did that happen?" She said pointing to the ring.

"End of last term. We had a falling out over something and that's how he made it up."

Mrs Jennings gave her a look. "So fast?"

"Oh yer I know. My father isn't too happy with it when I told him. But I had a school friend and her parents got engaged after 2 weeks. There are still together now."

"Yours wasn't 2 weeks, yours was like 2 days."

"We just click. It feels like we have known each other for years."

"Right to your forms everyone." The headmaster said dismissing everyone.

Morgan finished up her coffee. "Right better see the motley crew."

She quickly rinsed her mug before leaving.

* * *

"Class dismissed." Morgan said.

It was only lunch time and Morgan wished she could have another week of holiday.

She checked her phone but nothing had come up.

Aaron usually would text her first so that she knew when he was up but she just wanted to hear his voice.

It was like Morgan had willed the phone to ring when it did.

"You alright now?" Morgan said.

"Yer, yer. Having the shower was a good idea. Although I would have preferred somebody else to be in there with me."

"Oh, well if you wanted to shower with him then you should have just gone to the lake."

"Morgan how many times do I have to say? I was never in a relationship with Arthur. Yes at times it may have looked like I was in love with him but I wasn't because I was smitten by you. Anyway even if I was in love with Arthur, he wasn't meant to be mine, he was Gwen's."

"Ahh was you jealous?"

"Morgan, I was not jealous because my eyes were only for you."

"Aaron I am only joking with you."

"I know but can we stop it now."

"Maybe?" Morgan left him hanging

"So as it is your first day back and my first day off, I was hoping to take you to some restaurant but I haven't got to know the area so I was wondering where you would recommend?"

Morgan smiled. "We could just go to the pub. They do really nice food there and its not far from home so we can go back and maybe have a shower?"

Morgan gasped.

"Morgan, Morgan are you okay?"

"Yes, just felt this wave of magic roll through me. Look you must be tried. Go back to bed and we can see about tonight when I get home okay?"

"Morgan ..."

"I love you." She said and hung up before he could say anything else.

She followed where this energy was coming from and came to a stop outside of the headmaster's office.

There was this boy sitting in one of the chairs.

He looked no older than 12 but when he looked up at Morgan, she could see that like Merlin's her eyes looked older. They were this brilliant bright blue and with his black hair as well he could be taken as a mini Merlin.

"_Hello Morgana._" A voice said in her head.

"_How do you know who I am?" _

"_Don't you remember me?" _The voice had now turned sad

"_No I remember the pull of the magic but I cannot remember you."_

"_Shame because together we could have taken over the world. And we should have done if Emrys would have kept his nose out of our plans."_

"_He was only doing what he thought was right, as were we."_

"_But there is a right way and a wrong way ..."_

"_And do you think we had the right way? Magic has gone from the earth thanks to us Mordred."_

The boy looked down again but Morgan could see his smile.

"_So you do remember me?"_

"Ah Miss Fay, just the person I wanted to talk to." The headmaster said coming out of his office. "I see you have met young Hugo."

"Not on name terms no." Morgan looked down at 'Hugo'. "Nice to meet you."

"Come in." The headmaster said opening his office up to her.

"This is Hugo's social worker."

"He is in care?" Morgan said.

"He has had many problems fitting in the past. He has special gifts that other children find … not so special. He just needs to keep his head down." His social worker explained.

"Of course, he can come into my form and I will keep an eye on him." She turned to the headmaster. "If that's okay?"

The headmaster sighed.

"I thought that's why you wanted to speak with me."

"Yes but Morgan you can't keep picking up each broken child and try and fix them."

"Oh I can try." Morgan said.

"Well if you have the afternoon with him to try and get him use to the place then that will be helpful." Hugo's social worker said.

"Of course, I only have years 7 this afternoon and I am sure someone could cover for me."

"Its settled then." The headmaster said and shock the social workers hand.

* * *

Morgan enjoyed her afternoon with Hugo, until Aaron came.

"Aaron, what are you doing here?" Morgan said as she walked Hugo to the front doors.

His social worker was going to pick him up before school actually ended to have less pressure on Hugo.

"I thought I would walk and come and see you. You do have a free last don't you?"

Morgan smiled. "Yes, how did you know?"

"I am physic." Aaron said smiling back at her.

"_I don't think the same trick is going to work on her Emrys. I will have her back."_

Aaron turned his attention to the boy next to Morgan.

"_The battle has already won by me. I know what you have done over the centuries but this time I have won. I got her first."_

"_Oh Emrys this is never over. You made me what I am now, are you proud?"_

"Well as you are here I can introduce you to everybody and if they ask you to go for a drink say no."

"Why?" Aaron said trying to take his eyes off Mordred.

"Because you will regret it." Morgan kissed Aaron on the check. "I will just take Hugo out to see his social worker then I will come back for you."

Aaron smiled but it dropped once Morgan and Hugo passed him. He looked behind to see Hugo looking back at him.

"_She will chose me over you again just you wait and see."_

* * *

"Right Aaron, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Aaron, my fiancée."

"FIANCEE" Miss East shouted. "Bloody hell that was quick. You only started dating before the summer holidays. Quick romance was it."

"Oh yer, we just found that we just clicked so quickly." Aaron said.

"Oh so how did you do it then? Romantic dinner? Or the cinema? Did you take her away? Was it to Paris?"

Aaron looked at Morgan who gave him the go ahead to speak his mind.

"Of course those are all brilliant ideas but I proposed in the school's car park. It just felt right. I told her that it felt like we had known each other for years, about 1500 years."

Miss East gave him the weirdest of looks. "Are you a vampire?"

"I believe vampires cannot go out in the sun, or so Bram Stoker says." Aaron looked towards Morgan. "We better be getting home."

Morgan took that as an opportunity to escape. "Good idea."

Miss East didn't let them go that easily. "Ahhhh, you do know that you are her first boyfriend. Well the first boyfriend that we know of and she has allowed you to marry her …."

Aaron sighed. "Miss East, as much as you might like hearing your own voice but I don't. I have lived with someone who thinks that they are better than everyone and sadly I hoped never to met someone like that again. Last time you gave me the impression that you are single. Well how about to see how to treat people then maybe that's why Morgan is engaged and you are still single. Ciao." Aaron grabbed Morgan's arm and dragged her out of there.

"Remind me never to do that again." He said once they had left.

Morgan just chuckled beside him.

"What?" He said turning towards her.

"'Maybe that's why Morgan is engaged and you are still single. Ciao.' Where did you learn that from?"

"What did you think I was doing when you worked? I was watching TV to understand how this social system worked."

Morgan just smiled. "So where are we going tonight?"


	10. Chapter 10

_This story is a bit jumpy but that it only because I want to put all my ideas into a certain number of chapters_

_Reply to reviews:_

_sjritts - every story does need a villain but there might be slight twist to who it is :P_

* * *

**_When everything's meant to be broken  
_****_I just want you to know who I am_**

**Chapter 10**

Aaron rubbed his head.

He knew why Morgan told him not to go out with her colleagues. They could party hard and hold their liquor a whole lot better than him.

In the past two months, they had been out nearly every week. Usually on a Friday to the local pub.

Aaron now knew why he had avoided the tavern for so long.

"Are you okay light weight?" Morgan whispered.

"With all the years that I have been alive, you would have thought i would have gotten over this." Aaron said at the same volume as her. It was just on the edge of being to loud but Aaron could just about put up with it.

"Come on sit up and take these."

Aaron lifted his head from the pillow and took the paracetamol and glass of water.

"Please don't tell me I have to work tonight." Aaron said as he flopped back down.

Morgan smiled. "Luckily this time you choose a Friday that you didn't have work on the Saturday. But get over it as you have got work tomorrow."

Aaron sighed. "I didn't say anything stupid did i?"

"You almost told everyone that you had magic and that you had lived for a very long time. I read you mind and stopped you."

Aaron opened on of his eyes. "How I managed to keep it for Arthur for so long I will never know."

Morgan sat on the bed. "I never know how to address you when talking about the past."

"If any of my names, please call me Merlin."

"Then Merlin, what did you mean about me staying away from Mordred or whatever his name is?"

Aaron opened his eyes. "What did I say and when?"

"You just told me to stay away from Mordred and then you passed out. It was when we were home."

"The boy you were with on the first day back. What's his name?" Aaron waved his hand in the air to try and remember the name.

"Hugo?" Morgan said

"Yep him. He is Mordred, he wants to finish what you guys started."

"What? Like Camlann?"

"He blames me for everything. And he always managed to take you away from me."

Morgan stood up. "So Mordred came back as well."

"Yer, strong magic and all that."

"Why didn't you tell me that?"

Aaron looked up at Morgan.

"Please don't throw me out."

Morgan smiled. "I won't. Just tell me why you didn't tell me?"

"I have debated about it for ages just there never seemed a right time. After I knew that you wouldn't leave me, it just got harder to tell you." Aaron sighed. "I know that he will try at anything to get you onto his side. Please Morgan can you stay away from him."

"Aaron, I cant just … I cant just leave him when I said I would help him. He has had problems in the past. Maybe it's because of his magic." Morgan sighed. "But it cant be because I cannot used magic."

Aaron turned over. "But he always has been able to and he has always remembered. You have never remembered and now you cant use your magic." Aaron stood up slowly. "The triple goddess must have not wanted you to remember until I found you first. She knew the destruction it would cause if you remembered when you were with Mordred."

"So Mordred has come back each time."

Aaron nodded. "He has been many things to you. You have been many famous people."

"Like who?"

Aaron rubbed his head. "Ummm … Christine de Pizan, Queen Isabella, Mary Wollstonecraft, Margaret Fuller and the last Tsarina, Alexandra."

"I was two queens." Morgan said smiling.

"Of course. Gwen was right when she said that you were born to be queen."

Aaron smiled at the memory.

"Who is Christine de Pizan?"

"Oh … an Italian French medieval author. She was a court writer for many dukes and was in the royal court of Charles VI. She was a very well known and highly regarded poet in her day."

"You also said Tsarina Alexander?"

Aaron smiled at that. "I suppose you have heard Rasputin by Boney M."

"Of course. I don't a single person who studies history that doesnt."

"Well then the lyrics 'Ra Ra Rasputin, Lover of the Russian Queen was too wrong."

"Rasputin was my lover? I heard that he was actual really horrible."

"Hey that stuff does hurt."

Morgan looked at Aaron.

"Well how else are you going to cure haemophilia."

Morgan laughed. "You were Rasputin."

"Yes and being poisoned, shot 6 times and then thrown in a river wasn't nice"

Aaron stopped joking and became serious.

"Mordred was actually Alexei, the Tsarevich."

"Why didn't you just let him died then? It would have got him out of the way without you raising any suspicion."

Aaron sat down again. "Because you asked for me to save your son and I couldn't watch you, watch him die. You have always been my weakness and I have done everything you have asked me to do."

Morgan sat down next to Aaron and held his arm.

"You haven't forgiven yourself. I still don't believe that you have forgiven yourself now."

Aaron turned to Morgan. "How can I when I am still hurting you?"

"How are you hurting me?"

Aaron couldn't help but stare into her green eyes. They had grown older in the past few months but they were still as beautiful as ever.

"I am asking you go against your nature. The way that you will try and help anybody that needs it. I am asking you to leave a boy that doesn't fits into this time period as well as I do. We both stick out like sore thumbs and that is probably why he has changed schools." Aaron grabbed Morgan hand. "After a while people notice that you haven't aged and that is the time to go and find somewhere else to live. Mordred does age but he never lives to very old. When he was Alexi, he was 13. To begin with I tried to work with Mordred. When I found out he had remembered, I thought the goddess had given me a chance to right my wrongs."

Aaron just shock his head.

Morgan lent her head against his shoulder.

"Don't beat yourself up Merlin. It was ages ago and if Mordred cannot learn to forgive you then he is the fool."

Aaron just smiled. "I am going to have a shower." He got up and stumbled across the room.

Morgan just sat there and thought over what Aaron had said.

She was right. If Mordred didn't want to forgive Merlin then he is a fool. Merlin has at least tried to repair their friendship but he is the one to throw it away.

She may need to speak with him on Monday.

* * *

Morgan dismissed her class.

Hugo had stayed behind as she was still trying to help him settle in.

Morgan sighed. "I know who you are."

Hugo dropped his bag on the table.

"Emrys told you didn't he? I don't know why he can't keep his nose out of my life. Why can't he leave me alone?" Hugo was getting angry and Morgan could feel his magic starting to react.

"Hugo, please calm down. He asked me to stay away from you but he knows that I won't because it isn't in my nature. What I want to know is why you have so much hatred for Merlin."

Hugo smiled and laughed. "So he is _Mer_lin now is he? When did you get so friendly with him? He is your doom."

"Look Mordred, I never wanted to tell you because I knew that you would react like this."

"So now you use my old name. Well done Morgana for catching on so quickly."

"Mordred, I am in love with Merlin and have always been." She shouted at him.

Hugo stopped and stared at her.

"What?"

"Before Camlann, you asked me where I was. I told you I was out practising magic. I wasn't, I was in my hovel with Merlin. We were saving the last few minutes before we knew we would have to kill each other."

"But he killed you." Hugo said, his voice dark.

"That's because I asked him out of love. Look we weren't any closer to our goal than Merlin was."

"Do you still love him?"

Morgan stopped. She was glad that no one had walked down the corridor as this may have seemed weird.

"Yes of course I love Aaron but ..."

"Aaron?" Hugo said. "You called him Aaron before. Why?"

"Come on Hugo, how many people today are called Merlin? We needed to lay low so that we could have the life that we never had."

Hugo looked down at her hand.

"You are engaged to him."

Morgan followed his gaze. "Hugo, I will help you at school. But you cannot expect me to be the same person I was back then. I am someone different and I will not turn into that again."

Hugo grabbed his bag.

"Tell Emrys that he may have won this once but never again."

Hugo left and Morgan fell into her chair.

She had just argued with a pupil over things from the past.

"You look like you need a coffee."

Morgan looked up and smiled at Mrs Jennings.

"Make it a strong one please."


	11. Chapter 11

_Reply to reviews:_

_sjritts - well here is another chapter with a new character_

_Renaissancebooklover108 - I am glad you liked my story of Merlin being Rasputin. I blame the early mornings for that._

* * *

**_And I don't want the world to see me  
__'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_**

**Chapter 11**

"Morgan, I love you to but I have to go. My shift started 5 minutes ago."

"But Aaron." Morgan moaned down the phone.

"I love you, bye."

"Love you too, bye."

Aaron hung up and turned off his phone. He threw it into the locker and ran out of the room.

He knew it was a big mistake calling Morgan but he hadn't seen her all day and knew that he may only just see her tomorrow.

A&E had been very busy over the last couple of weeks. Maybe because it was getting closer to Christmas.

Ice had been a real problem this year and Aaron had at least 10 patients a day that had fallen over and hurt themselves due to it. Most of the time it wasn't anything serious and he wanted to shout at them for wasting his time, but Gaius had always told him to have patience with them. He defiantly needed patience for most of them.

"Dr Wyllt, you got a patient in room 257. He had alcohol poisoning we think." A nurse said handing him a folder.

"Really? Another one? That's my fifth this evening and its only just gone midnight." He shout at her down the hall.

"I cannot help it if they cannot understand when too much is too much."

Aaron sighed.

He went to the room and opened to folder.

"Right so Mr Barton. It says here that this is you sixth time in 3 weeks. I would request that you stop this immed …" Aaron looked up at the man on the bed.

Aaron would recognise him from anywhere and with Mordred back it did surprise him that other people would start returning to. The drink problem didn't help as well.

"Gwaine." Aaron whispered.

"Soowwy what weerrrre you sayyyying?" Gwaine said.

"You are still drunk I take it. Right we are going to have to pump your stomach then we will keep you in until morning."

Aaron left the room.

He smiled. Gwaine was back, he had one of his friends back.

Then Aaron thought about it.

If Morgan remembers, does that mean that everyone would? What if he wanted revenge for his death?

Aaron couldn't allow that to happen but he knew that he would be able to talk now and Aaron wouldn't be around when they release him.

Aaron just hoped that they would meet up again.

It did usually happen. Once he had meet up with someone from the past, they usually stayed in his life somehow.

* * *

It was a week until Christmas and Aaron had hit the shops trying to find something to buy Morgan.

She was still as fussy as she was in Camelot and he knew that he had to wow her.

Well he didn't have to but he wanted to.

He wasn't going to buy any clothes as he really didn't want to ask what size she was and he wasn't any good with fashion. Morgan had tried to get him interested but he argued with why can't you wear the same thing twice.

To say he got his head ripped off was probably right.

He had been into five jewellery shops and none of them had anything Morgany in them.

He knew of one more and he knew that would be reliable due to him getting the engagement ring from there. The only problem was that it was a bit expensive. Money wasn't the problem for Aaron, it was just what Morgan would think about the situation.

* * *

He came out of the shop happy.

He may have spend a little too much money but he knew he had something that Morgan would love.

Walking down the high street, he saw a familiar face.

"Hey, you were my doctor the other day." Gwaine said.

Aaron stopped and smiled. "Yep. You should really go to some sort of counselling. 6 times in 3 weeks isn't good on your body."

The man looked guilty. "Don't say that I haven't tried mate, because I have. Just sometimes life gets you down." Gwaine looked straight at Aaron. "Have you ever had that before?"

Aaron sighed. "Of course, we all have good days and bad days. We learn from the bad."

"Have I met you before?" Gwaine said cocking his head to one side.

"Maybe. I see lots of patients everyday."

"No I mean." Gwaine laughed. "I know it sounds stupid but it feels as though I meet you in another life or something."

Aaron just smiled. "Maybe."

"My name is Edward but most people call me Eddy." Gwaine said holding his hand out.

"Nice to meet you Eddy, I'm Aaron." Aaron said shaking his hand.

_Right it's Eddy not Gwaine. Must remember that._

"Care for a drink." Eddy said point to the pub behind him.

Aaron checked his watch.

It had just gone half 5. He could just have one drink.

* * *

It was 10 o'clock when Aaron came through the door.

"Where have you been?" Morgan said not looking up from her marking.

"Umm, out. I thought you might need some space as you need to mark all the coursework."

"My, my Aaron that was quick thinking. Now where were you?"

"I met Gwaine." Aaron came out with.

Morgan put down her pen and turned to him.

"And?"

"He doesn't remember a thing. He is an alcoholic which I need to try and sort out."

Morgan smiled.

"Did it feel like old times going drinking with him?"

"How did you know?"

Morgan cocked her head to the side.

"Other than the fact that I can smell the alcohol from here, you have spilt it down your shirt and your sleeve is wet. Must be a pub as they don't clean the bar as often as they probably should do. You have just had a little too much to drink by the way that you are leaning against the walk but by you expression, you didn't realise that you were leaning against the wall." Morgan turned back to her work. "You don't need any more explanation now do you?"

Aaron leant fully on the wall.

"I think we should stop watching Sherlock. It isn't even anything like him anyway."

Morgan turned a glared at him. "I don't care if it isn't like the real Sherlock Homles. I like it and you aren't going to take him away from me. Got that?"

Aaron nodded. "I am going to take a shower."

Aaron walked through the lounge.

"Oh Aaron."

Aaron turned around.

"What else is Gwaine going to ask to you do?"

Aaron smiled. "Yes of course." He started walking again. "But it isn't Gwaine any more. It's Eddy."


End file.
